Stepping into the unknown...
But if I can do it so can you.
For anyone who has watched Divergent, I felt like Tris jumping off the roof during her initiation. And just like Tris I wasn’t sure if there was something at the bottom to catch me.
But taking action and doing it is actually easy. Yep you read that right - it’s easy!
And you are so busy moving forward you don’t have chance to look back and worry – you just keep going.
The hard part is the FEAR.
That’s what keeps you in the same routines, the bad relationship or the wrong job.
I’ve lost count of how many years I dreamed of having my own business, being my own boss and in full control of my life. Even as a child I knew I wanted my own business, but for DECADES fear stopped me.
Fear has so much power.
You worry “what if it doesn’t work” and that one thought can drown out everything else. It drowns out “what if I succeed” and “what if I can use my success to help others”. It drowns out the pride I will have in myself, the opportunities it could offer me and others. You don’t hear these over the fear of it not working.
And that fear becomes bigger.
I could lose the house, lose all security, I have children to think about and so on until it becomes all-consuming and no matter how much that dream means to you, you won’t chase it.
As a single mum with no savings I had no security net and it felt selfish to risk everything but it’s actually one of the best things I did for myself and my family.
For me, it took a breakdown to get over my fear – NOT SOMETHING I’D RECOMMEND!
But being pushed to the edge, feeling like I was losing my mind and seeing the mental and physical toll it had on me, made me realise something needed to change.
It was this that made me face my fear, explore it and question it.
The more I questioned my fear and looked at my current life the smaller the fear became until it changed into something that excited me.
Handing in my notice was liberating, confirming that it was 100% the right decision for me.
It hasn’t been plain sailing, starting my own business has been tough but it has definitely been the right decision and the fear has gone. It seems foolish that I avoided this for so long. I’m enjoying life, growing and taking it one step at a time.
Overcome your fear
These steps will help you overcome your fear.
1. Analyse and explore your fear
What are you frightened of? Why does it scare you? What’s the likelihood of it happening? For instance you won’t lose your house overnight if you start your own business. What steps can you put in place to mitigate the fear/problem? See how much you really need to worry about.
2. Look at the positives
Think about what you stand to gain. How will it benefit you, your family and others around you? Picture yourself being successful – how does it feel? Hold onto that feeling and let it grow and develop.
3. Have faith in yourself
Believe in yourself and your capabilities. So often we are quick to downplay our achievements, experiences and skills rather than accepting compliments and being proud of what we’ve achieved. This constant downplaying undermines our faith in ourselves. Celebrate what you have achieved and understand how your skills and experience can help you.
Treat yourself like you would treat a friend, become your best ally rather than your own worst enemy.
4. You’ve survived everything life has thrown at you
All of the bad times and challenges you have faced have shown just how resilient and resourceful you can be. You’ve survived them so you can survive anything.
Don’t be trapped by your fear. Analyse it, explore it, see how much you really need to worry about then look at the positives, for every problem find a solution and have a bit of faith in yourself – you’ll be surprised at what you can achieve.
Susan Jeffers puts it perfectly:
“If you knew you could handle anything that came your way, what would you possibly have to fear?
The answer is: NOTHING!”